As a new widow I have so much to learn. I've only been a widow for three months. Today would have been our 34th anniversary and I'm dealing with many emotions. I'm not a woman who likes to cope or put up with overwhelming emotions. I like to look into the face of them and live through them victoriously. Sure God gave us emotions, but we who are believers in Yeshua/Jesus are supposed to walk by faith and not the lead of the flesh or overwhelmed by it.
I started making a list of all my girlfriends who are widows. I was really surprised at the number. I have also been reading a really good book, "From One Widow to Another: Conversations on the New You" by Miriam Neff. In it she shares that there are around 800,000 new widows in the US every year. Wow, is all I can say. That number is staggering in my mind.
Widowhood is one of the biggest adjustments in life I've ever had to make. I lost my only son 32 years ago and though it was hard the pain of it had nothing on losing my husband.
The second day after Jeff went home to heaven I experienced what I would call wailing sorrow. I was left alone for the first time since he died and I felt as if my body and soul had been literally torn in half. I literally wailed out loud scaring my cat and dog into hiding. Today I cried at the thought of my wedding day 34 years ago, but it was nothing in comparison to that second day. As time passes I can see that the pain lessens.
I'm a proactive woman. I never sit still when faced with problems, I go hunting for answers. Being a woman of faith I first go to God and to my bible for answers. Being an intelligent woman I look for other resources as well. Being a social woman I also sought my friends who had already suffered the loss of their spouse. I surrounded myself with friends and family to be able to overcome the grief that tried to suffocate me.
I look forward to other widows finding this blog and commenting on the things I post. I also hope to add links to sites and blogs of other widows. In numbers there is strength.
When I first visited the cemetery where my husband was to be buried I came to the sudden realization that I was not alone in the world of widowhood. There were so many graves and markers that I knew that I was just one in a long line of women who had buried their men.
I'm not sure how this will help those of you out there, but I know I'm excited at the possibilities of others learning how to overcome this hard time and rediscovering who they are as single women with God as their husband and the rest of their lives before them.
James 1:27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
