I've often equated marriage to the blending of two colors of paint. Imagine the man as blue, the woman as yellow. Over time those two colors swirl together and become green. The more time, the more challenges or "shaking" the marriage endures the more blended the colors become. Now imagine the death of one spouse?
I had no idea just how traumatic the death of my husband would be. It's rather like we were almost a pure green and then a big chunk of blue was removed taking a big part of my yellow with it.
I shall forever be more green than pure yellow. I can not erase the memories and experiences I've had with my husband. He will forever be a part of me. I am still young enough to consider remarriage, and should I remarry, I am now a new hue to be mixed with some other color.
I personally can't see how God can smoothly integrate someone else into my life at this time. I also can't see myself being alone for the rest of my life. I'm glad God created color and His mastery of blending is at work behind the scenery. I await His touch in the painting of my life's story.
Selah
- love never fails.
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